Emotions accompany us throughout life, but for young children they are particularly intense and not always easy to understand. During preschool years, children are just beginning to learn to recognise, name, and cope with what they feel. For us adults, this is the time when we can help them build solid foundations for healthy emotional development.
Accepting all emotions
Recognising emotions is only the beginning. Children need to learn that all emotions — both the “negative” ones like anger, and the “positive” ones like joy — are perfectly fine and worth accepting. Instead of saying “Don’t be angry!”, it is better to say: “I understand you’re upset. Let’s think about what we can do to feel better.” This approach allows a child to express their feelings in a healthy way, without fear of being judged. It is important for children to understand that emotions are not something bad, but a natural part of life.
Coping with emotions
Understanding emotions is one thing, but it is equally important to teach children how to cope with them. Preschoolers are at an age when conflicts and frustrations arise daily — toys that won’t work, misunderstandings with peers, changes in daily routine… Each of these situations can trigger strong feelings. That is when it is worth helping the child find a solution. We can ask: “What can we do to solve this problem?”, “How can we calm down when you feel upset?”. By showing the child that solutions can be found rather than dwelling on negative emotions, we teach them to handle difficult situations constructively.
Learning about emotions through play
Toys and games can be excellent tools for learning about emotions. Board games, emotion cards, or drawing faces with different expressions are great ways for children to connect with their own feelings and learn empathy. Painting or creating various characters during play also gives children space to express what they feel. Creativity allows emotions to be released in a safe way, while developing imagination and communication skills.
How we do this at our preschool — working with emotions on Saska Kępa
At Przedszkole i Żłobek Siedmiu Krasnoludków at ul. Irlandzka 7 in Warsaw (Saska Kępa neighbourhood, Praga-Południe district), we treat the emotions of children aged 3–6 as an everyday subject of the entire team’s work — not as “a nuisance to silence”.
- Anger as an unmet need — we work in the spirit of Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen (based on the psychology of Alfred Adler). According to this approach, every “difficult” behaviour in a child (shouting, kicking, refusing to cooperate) is a message about an unmet need (belonging, autonomy, agency, sensory regulation). Instead of punishing, we ask: “What do you need?”.
- TUS — Social Skills Training (Trening Umiejętności Społecznych) led by Karolina Anioła (preschool director, certified TUS trainer) — in small groups (4–6 children), little ones practise recognising emotions in photographs and pictograms, role-play coping with refusal, asking for help, sharing, and waiting for their turn.
- Circle Time every morning — each child chooses a colour or pictogram describing how they feel (“today I’m green — calm”, “today I’m red — I’m angry”). This gives the teacher an emotional map of the group for the whole day.
- Bibliotherapy (Bajkoterapia) — short therapeutic stories selected to match the current situation (separation anxiety, sibling jealousy, the start of preschool, the death of a pet). Each story is always followed by a conversation and optional art work.
- Child psychologist consultations — Klaudia Markiewicz (psychologist, graduate of SWPS University) — parents can arrange a conversation on the preschool premises when they want to better understand what is happening with their child.
- The Sherborne method and Sensoplastyka — when a child is flooded with emotions, words no longer help. That is when we reach for movement (Sherborne) or texture (Sensoplastyka), which allow a return to balance through the body.
If your child’s emotions require deeper support, you are also welcome at our therapeutic sessions — behavioural therapy, hand therapy, and SI (Sensory Integration) are run by a special-needs teacher and are available also to children from outside our preschool, from across the Praga-Południe district.
The role of adults
The most important thing we can do as adults is to be a source of support and a role model for children. Conversations about emotions, analysing situations together, and expressing our own feelings constructively are excellent ways to teach. When a child sees that an adult can handle emotions calmly and thoughtfully, they are more likely to adopt those skills.