Social Skills Training (TUS) — What It Is and Why Your Child Might Need It

What Is TUS and How Does It Differ from Therapy

TUS (Trening Umiejetnosci Spolecznych, or Social Skills Training) is one of the most commonly misunderstood concepts in early childhood education. Parents hear the word “training” and think of therapy. They hear “social skills” and imagine a child who hits other kids on the playground. Both associations are wrong.

TUS is not therapy and is not reserved for children with problems. It’s training in the literal sense — just as a child practices riding a bike or throwing a ball, they can also practice waiting for their turn, asking for help, or saying “I disagree” instead of pushing.

The difference between TUS and therapy is crucial. Psychological therapy deals with causes — why a child reacts with aggression, where anxiety comes from, what’s behind withdrawal. TUS deals with skills — it teaches specific behaviors that a child can apply in everyday situations. It’s a practical, behavioral, action-oriented approach.

At our preschool, TUS is led by a certified therapist in groups of 4–6 children. Small groups are intentional — in a large group, a shy child hides behind their peers. In a small group, they have to interact. And that’s exactly the point.

Who Is Training For — Not Just Children with a Diagnosis

The most common myth about TUS: “It’s for children with autism or ADHD.” No. TUS is for any child who needs support in building relationships with peers. And that need can arise in a child with no diagnosis whatsoever.

Let’s look at a few typical situations.

The shy child. Doesn’t hit, doesn’t shout, doesn’t cause problems. But stands on the sidelines when other children play. Can’t walk up and say, “Can I join in?” At home they’re talkative and confident — in a group, they shut down. TUS teaches them specific strategies for entering play.

The impulsive child. Wants to play with others but can’t wait for their turn. Grabs toys, interrupts, dominates play. They don’t do this out of malice — they simply haven’t yet developed impulse control mechanisms. TUS gives them tools for self-regulation.

The child who can’t handle losing. Every loss in a board game ends in tears or flipping the board. This is a completely normal developmental phase — but it’s worth helping the child through it before they reach school, where setbacks are a daily occurrence.

The new child in the group. A preschool change, a move, returning after a long illness. Each of these situations requires the child to rebuild relationships. TUS helps this process happen faster and with less stress.

The child who struggles with emotions. Can’t recognize emotions in themselves or others. Doesn’t know what they feel when frustrated — so they react by screaming. Doesn’t understand why a classmate is crying — so they ignore them. TUS teaches recognizing and naming emotions, which is the foundation of empathy.

What TUS Sessions Look Like in Preschool

A typical TUS session at Siedmiu Krasnoludków lasts 45 minutes and follows a consistent structure. Consistency matters — children feel safe when they know what to expect.

Welcome and “emotion barometer.” At the start, each child picks a picture that matches their mood. Joy, sadness, anger, fear, surprise — we have five basic emotions on a board. This simple exercise teaches introspection: “What am I feeling right now?”

Main scene — role-playing. The therapist presents a situation: “Kasia is playing with blocks. Tomek wants to join in. What can he do?” Children propose solutions, then act them out. Each solution is discussed — what worked, what could be done differently. There are no “wrong” answers — just more and less effective strategies.

Social stories. We read short stories about everyday situations — a dispute over a toy, a new child in the group, a friend who is sad. After each story, we talk: “How did the character feel? What could they have done? What would you do?”

Group games. Games that require cooperation, negotiation, and handling defeat. Building a tower in pairs (you have to agree on who places each block). The “Island” game — the whole group has to fit on a shrinking blanket. Movement activities that require waiting for your turn.

Wrap-up and “rule of the week.” At the end, we agree on one specific thing to practice in the coming days. For example: “This week, before I take someone’s toy, I ask: May I?” Simple, measurable, and realistic.

How to Tell If Your Child Needs Social Support

Not every child needs TUS — but here are five signs that training might be helpful.

1. The child regularly plays alone, even though they’d like to play with others. The key word is “would like to.” Some children prefer independent play — and that’s perfectly fine. But if a child stands on the sidelines with longing in their eyes and can’t join in, that’s a signal.

2. Conflicts with peers happen daily. Occasional disagreements are normal. Daily conflicts that escalate to tears, physical aggression, or withdrawal — that’s a pattern worth addressing.

3. The child doesn’t recognize emotions in others. Doesn’t react when someone cries. Doesn’t understand why a friend is upset. Comments: “He’s stupid” instead of “He’s sad.” This isn’t a lack of empathy — it’s a lack of skill in reading emotional signals.

4. The child has difficulty with transitions and changes. End of playtime, transition from lunch to nap, a change in the day’s plan — every shift triggers a burst of frustration. TUS teaches flexibility and coping with disappointment.

5. Teachers report recurring situations. If in a conversation with a teacher you hear: “Kuba often pushes other children” or “Ola refuses to participate in group activities” — take it seriously. Teachers see the child in a group context that parents don’t observe.

Results of TUS — What Changes in a Child’s Behavior

Change doesn’t happen overnight. TUS is a process — but a process with clear stages.

First weeks (1–4). The child begins to recognize and name emotions. Instead of “I’m mad!” more precise messages appear: “I’m frustrated because I can’t find my block.” This is a huge step — a named emotion loses half its power.

First months (2–4). The child starts applying learned strategies in real situations. They ask instead of grabbing. They request help instead of crying. They say “I don’t like that” instead of pushing. They don’t do it every time — but increasingly often. Teachers notice the change; parents hear about it at conferences.

After six months to a year. Social skills become habit. The child doesn’t have to think about what to say in a difficult situation — they respond spontaneously and appropriately. They have closer relationships with peers. They participate more willingly in group activities. They are better prepared for the demands of school, where cooperation and self-regulation are essential.

At our preschool, we’ve been running TUS sessions for three years. We’ve watched children who initially couldn’t share a single crayon organize group play and resolve minor conflicts on their own after a few months. It’s not magic — it’s the result of systematic training in a safe environment.

If you’re wondering whether TUS is something your child could benefit from, talk to us. We’re happy to share more about the sessions and help assess whether the training is right for your little one.